First off, what in the hell happened to Chuck's office? Looks like a friggin' bomb went off in there.
Second, while I appreciate and admire that you all took it on yourselves to handle the regular maintenance while I was on vacation - where in the hell are all my tools?
Third, replace "you all" with "some of you", because it seems some folks forgot I was out of the house and have been leaving fix-it requests in my inbox. One of these is from three weeks ago. I ain't about to embarass nobody, but since this is dated two weeks ago, you'd better have found some way to unclog that toilet.
Fourth, if anyone's got anything urgent, it'll wait until Monday. Tomorrow I plan on taking up residence at Harry's and getting in the proper frame of mind for this place again.
Fifth - yes, that is a beard. Men occasionally grow these things. No, I'm not keeping it.
Sixth, no, I didn't bring you souvenirs.
Seventh, spring break's in two weeks. That means those storm windows, as they do every year, are going to come down and be put away. Weather permitting, there'll be a barbecue that week for everyone who volunteers for helping with the spring cleaning.
Eighth, I don't care if you people got all shot up and broke your plane. You'll have to wait in line for the laundry like everyone else. And someone owes me a new shirt.